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The Lord's Plan

By:  kf6tac/Brian and Jamie Sommers

Email:  kf6tac@yahoo.com
           jamiesommers23@hotmail.com


Rated: P/G 13

Synopsis:  Landon and Jamie have had their first date now they have to face their friends, their family and their own fears.  From both Landon's (written in BOLD print by kf6tac/Brian) and Jamie's POV (written by Jamie Sommers in ITALIC print)



Chapter 14: The Gift



I could see myself sleeping in his arms underneath the tree at school; feel his breath stir my hair.  The sun was warm on my face as my eyes fluttered open.  I knew it was just a dream, but when I opened my eyes there he was, like my dream had come true and I thought, ‘I could wake up every day for the rest of my life to the sight of you.  I love you Landon.’  He must have heard my sigh because he closed his magazine and came over to me.

“Hey,” he smiled.  “How are you feeling?” He leaned over me and placed a kiss on my cheek.

“I'm okay, how are you?”

“Pretty good,” he said as he got settled on the edge of my bed.

“I have something for you.”

“You do?”

“Mmmmm hmmmm,” I leaned over and picked up the book my father had brought to me earlier in the day.  I noticed Landon’s questionable stare and said, “ Don't worry it's not a bible. It was my mother's.  It's got quotes from all her favorite books, and quotes by famous people. Her thoughts…” he bent his head down and kissed my hands.  “Come on,” I encouraged him to open the book to the pages I had marked.

“Okay, let's check it out.”  He opened the book to the first marker and read, “What is a friend? A friend is a single
soul dwelling in two bodies. Aristotle.”

“Nuh uh.  Here,” I pointed to the quote that held special meaning to me and I wondered if he would understand the hidden meaning behind that passage.

“Okay.  Find out who you are and do it on purpose,” from the look on his face I could see that he did in fact understand.  

‘I’m so proud that you finally found out who you were Landon and that you’re not ashamed of it,’ I thought.

“It's Dolly Parton.”

“I always thought she was smart,” I said with a smile. 

I watched him as he turned to the next marker within the book and closed my eyes as his voice filled the room, “Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude…” I began saying it with him.  “…or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful.” 

Complete and utter happiness washed over me as his love filled my soul.  There was a tugging in my heart--a need to share with him the discovery I had made earlier in the day.  “You know what I figured out today?”

“What?”

“Maybe…God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends.  Like you were sent to me because I'm sick…to help me through all this.”  I nuzzled my cheek into the palm of his hand as the realization hit me, “You’re my angel.”  I could see the tears begin to well within his eyes as he kissed me.

Our faces were so close together as he tried to speak, “Jamie…” I could see him swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat.  His brimming tears caused his eyes to become magnified as his voice scraped, “I…was nothing before you.” I lifted my hand to his face and brushed the tears that had spilled over onto his cheeks, away with my thumb.  “It never dawned on me how empty I was until you were in my life.”  We were both crying openly now--not tears of sorrow, but of joy.  “Jamie…you make me whole.”

“Oh, Landon…”

He grasped onto the sides of my face and looked deeply into my eyes. “Do you know how much I love you Jamie?” 

I took a deep breath as our lips met in a warm and slippery kiss.  “I love you so much Landon.  So much.”  Our hearts were racing…pounding.  Our breathing had turned from deep cleansing breaths to little shuddering pants. 

I could hear the catch of his breath and feel his tears as he kissed me again and again.  “You’re the love of my life Jamie Sullivan.”

We pulled apart to look into one another’s tear filled eyes, “Oh…we’re so lucky Landon. So lucky.”

“We’re more than lucky Jamie…we’re blessed.”  He laid his head on my shoulder as we clung to one another. 

My heart swelled with emotion and I whispered, “Yes we are.”



When I got to the hospital that afternoon, Jamie was asleep.  The nurse agreed to let me in her room as long as I didn’t make too much noise.

“Would you like some books to keep you busy while you wait?” she asked me politely.

I glanced over to the table in the hospital room, and noticed there were a few magazines sitting in a pile.  “No, it’s all right.  I’ll just read whatever is over there.”

I sat down at the table and looked over the stack of magazines.  There were a few issues of National Geographic, which I was never really interested in; a copy of some fashion magazine, another thing I never read; and finally there was the latest issue of Time Magazine.  Time wasn’t my usual type of reading material, but it was the best in the pile so I started flipping through it.  I had just finished skimming an article on some U.S. Senator and was looking at the ads on the next page when I heard Jamie sigh.  I looked over, and I was glad to see that she was awake.

“Hey,” I said to her as I got up and walked over to her bed.  I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.  “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” she replied.  “How are you?”

“Pretty good.”  I wasn’t sure what I was going to say next, but Jamie took care of that for me.

“I have something for you.”

“You do?”  I knew she had been in the hospital all day, so I wasn’t sure how or when she had managed to pick up something for me.

“Mmm hmm.”  Then she handed me this book.  It was pretty thick, and at first I thought maybe it was a Bible like the one she carried around.  Now I know I’d talked to God a few times since I found out about her leukemia, but I wasn’t sure what exactly I would do with a Bible just yet.  I looked at her, and she just read me perfectly.

“Don’t worry, it’s not a Bible.  It was my mother’s.  It's got quotes from all her favorite books, and quotes by famous people. Her thoughts…”  That was something I hadn’t expected.  I mean, it was her mother’s book!  I figured she would’ve wanted to hold on to it.  I kissed her hand, and was about to tell her I couldn’t possibly take it when she read my mind again and urged me to look at it.  “Come on.”

“Okay, let’s check it out.”  I opened it up, and Jamie had put these little markers on the pages she wanted me to read.  I read out the first page.  “What is a friend?  A friend is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.  Aristotle.”  I pondered that one for a little while, and I figured Aristotle was right.  Jamie was one of my best friends, and she seemed to know me in and out.  How else could things work like that?

“Nuh uh, here.”  She pointed to a different quote.  I read that one out loud too.  “Find out who you are, and do it on purpose.  It’s Dolly Parton.”  I almost instantly figured out why she marked that quote for me.  I had been so aimless before, I had no clue who or what I was.  I would have just wandered my life away in Beaufort.  I looked over at Jamie.  It seemed like she had always known who she was, from the very moment I met her.  And she had helped me find out about myself too.  Sure, it had been uncertain along the way, but Jamie didn’t give up on me.

“I always thought she was smart,” Jamie said, smiling.

I turned the page over to the next marker and started to read.  “Love is always patient and kind.  It is never jealous.  Love is never boastful or conceited.”  My first reaction was that this was a quote about Jamie.  All this time, she had never been anything but patient with me.  She never made any assumptions about me, never tried to hold herself up as a model.  She was the only one who saw past my rough edges and understood who I really was inside.

“It is never rude…” I continued, and Jamie began to whisper along with me.  “… or selfish.  It does not take offense and is not resentful.”  Jamie smiled when we finished that one together, and I smiled too.  I was also deep in thought.  Jamie had given her love to me unconditionally, with all the affection and sincerity she had.  I guessed that she probably used that last quote to guide her when she was unsure.  Up to that point, I didn’t really have anything to work from.  I had said I loved her and I was pretty sure I knew what it meant, but I never really took the time to give it full thought.  Having read that, I decided that from then on Jamie would get nothing but true love from me - that I would do everything in my power to be patient and kind.

“You know what I figured out today?” she asked me.

“What?"

“Maybe…God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends.”

‘I hope this journey never ends, Jamie, because I want to be with you forever.  I don’t want to lose you so early.  I want to spend what time we have now together… but I also want to see you again someday,’ I thought to myself.

“Like you were sent to me because I'm sick…to help me through all this.”

All I could think of was my line from the play, one of the many I had thought was so terrible when I first read it.  ‘Baby, believe me.  You don’t wanna go fallin’ in love with a guy like me.’  But yet… she thought I was sent to help her through everything.  Only because she brought out the best in me.

“You’re my angel.”

I didn’t know what to say to that one.  When I was a kid I had built my whole “reputation” around people thinking I was the devil, and here Jamie was telling me I was her angel.  I don’t know what hit me, but something just washed over me when she said it.  It was a good feeling… like I had finally done something right in the world.  Tears started forming in my eyes, and all I could do was kiss her.

“Jamie…” I choked out.  The tears started to run down my cheeks, and I was barely able to tell her.  “I… was nothing before you.  It never dawned on me how empty I was until you were in my life.”  I could see tears running down her face too.  “Jamie, you make me whole.”  I didn’t know at that moment how I would live without her, without my other half… but it didn’t matter.  All I knew was that I needed to hold her and love her for as much time as God would give us.

“Oh Landon…”

“Do you know how much I love you Jamie?”

“I love you so much Landon… so much” she managed over her tears.

We kissed over and over again, and I finally was able to tell her “You’re the love of my life Jamie Sullivan.”

“Oh… we’re so lucky Landon.  So lucky.”

I thought again about the quotes in her mother’s book.  I remembered what Jamie had told me about faith, both on the night of our first date and our first night together in the cemetery.  Part of me at that moment actually wanted her to have given me a Bible.  “We’re more than lucky Jamie.  We’re blessed.”  I laid my head against her shoulder and thanked God for the wonderful woman I had right in front of me.

“Yes, we are,” I heard her say.  As I rested there with my head against Jamie’s shoulder, I noticed Reverend Sullivan watching us through the little window on the door.  His eyes met mine for a moment, and then he turned and walked off.



My father and I had been reminiscing about my childhood when one of the nurses came in and said, "Excuse me, Reverend Sullivan, would you mind coming to the nurse’s station for a moment.  You have a phone call?” 

He was gone for a while and when he came back he was smiling from ear to ear.  “Daddy?  What is it?”

“Jamie, you’re not going to believe this.”

“What is it Daddy?  Is everything okay?”

“Yes everything’s fine it’s just…”  From the look on my father’s face I had thought that someone had found the cure for cancer.  That wasn’t the case, but it was the next best thing.

“So he’s going to pay for it?  Isn’t that expensive?  Daddy, I don’t think I can accept that.”

“That’s what I told him Jamie, but he just wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“But daddy…”

“Jamie,” my father held up his hands and said, “You’re preaching to the choir.  I already turned him down, but it seems that Mr. Carter has pre-paid for quite a bit of the services already.”

“Well then he should just get his money back.”

I listened to my father chuckle as he said, “It doesn’t work that way sweetheart.”

“So whether or not I accept he’s still going to have to pay for it?”

“Seems that way.”

As thrilling of a prospect going home was, I just didn’t feel right about letting Landon’s father pay the bill for my medical care.  “Daddy, I’m going to need to think about this for a little while.  Do you mind?”

“No, of course not.  I’ve got some church business that needs tending to…”

I kissed my father good-bye and lied there thinking about the situation Landon’s father had put me in.  On one hand, it was too good to be true.  I could get all the medical treatment I needed and still be in the comfort of my own home.  On the other hand, Landon had practically disowned his father years ago and I wouldn’t want to hurt him by not taking his feelings into consideration.  I thought back to a brief conversation Landon and I had on closing night of the spring play.   We were standing back stage, enjoying some of the treats that the parents had brought in for us as sort of a ‘cast party, when he came up to me and began talking to me.



“I see your father made it again.”

“Mmmmm hmmmm.  I saw your mother, but didn’t your father make it?”

“Nah.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Yeah, well…I didn’t really expect him to come back after last night.”

“Why not?” I took a sip out of my glass of punch.

“Let’s just say he wasn’t really welcome.”

I thought about it for a minute before saying, “You know Landon…one day you’re going to regret not letting him into your life.”

“Yeah…I don’t think so.  Besides, he’s the one that left me.”

“Did he, Landon?  Or did he leave your mother?”

“It’s the same thing.”

“No it isn’t.  It’s two completely different things.”

“How can you say that?  He walked out on our family!”

“Do you even know what happened between your parents?”

“All I know is that he stopped loving us.”

I shook my head and said, “One day you just might see things from his point of view.”

“Yeah, well I wouldn’t go holding my breath if I were you.”



Making my choice to accept Mr. Carter’s offer of private home care was easy once I started thinking about the effect it could have on his and Landon’s relationship.  I wondered, ‘is today the day you start seeing things from your father’s point of view Landon?’



Going to school on Monday was tough.  I didn’t want to leave Jamie’s bedside, but I knew that I needed to go to school if I was going to make my to-do list come true.  After all, I had promised myself that I would work hard enough to go to college and medical school.  No one said much about Jamie at school.  I figured everyone had heard what happened but didn’t know what to do.  I couldn’t blame them.  I really didn’t know what else to do myself.  After school I got in my car and drove straight to the hospital.  When I got there, though, the nurse was wheeling Jamie out of her room in a wheelchair.  She was all dressed and she had this big smile on her face.

“Hey,” I asked her.  “What’s going on?”

“Landon, I get to go home!” she answered excitedly.  “Please thank your father for me.”  The nurse wheeled her off before I could ask her to clarify that last part.  It really made no sense to me.  I hadn’t heard from my dad since I was at his house that Friday night.

“What did she mean?” I asked Reverend Sullivan, who was standing in the doorway of the now vacant hospital room.

“Your father’s been trying to reach you.  He’s gonna pay for private home care.”

I couldn’t believe it.  My father was going to pay for Jamie to have home care?  All my life he had done nothing but send a child support check every month and suddenly… this?  I wasn’t sure what to make of it all, but first I drove to Jamie’s house to make sure she got settled in all right.

“Have you talked to your father yet, Landon?” she asked me.  We were in her room, and I was helping move some of her stuff back into her closet.

“No,” I said after a long pause.

“Well… when you do, please let him know how thankful I am.”  She had said “when”, not “if”.  Even though Jamie knew I rarely spoke to my father at all, she was in her own way urging me to talk to him now.

After everything was set at Jamie’s house, I got back into my car and started for my father’s house.  I still wasn’t sure what to say to him.



“Hey.  What’s going on?”  I knew he had no clue what was going on, he had been at school all day, and either way I seriously doubt that his father would try and tell him what he had done.

“Landon, I get to go home!”  I thought, ‘please God let this work.’  “Please thank your father for me.”  My nurse wheeled me out to my father’s car and we left a befuddled Landon standing in our wake. 

Landon had helped me get settled back in at home, along with my father and my new nurse.  As he was hanging up some of my clothes I asked him, “Have you talked to your father yet, Landon?”

“No.”

‘This is it, Jamie,’ I thought.  ‘He just needs a little nudge.’  “Well… when you do, please let him know how thankful I am.” 



I drove toward my father’s house again, but this time I drove slowly.  The night Jamie had told me about her leukemia I was definitely breaking the speed limit, but it wasn’t the same.  I couldn’t even figure out what to say to him, so I took my time.  I had to make an effort to stay focused on the road because of the dialogue I was having with myself.  It was kind of like those cartoons on TV with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other… only I wasn’t sure which one was the angel and which was the devil.

‘Come on Landon, the guy walked out on you and your mom.  You don’t owe him anything.  Just say thanks and leave.’

‘He’s doing this for you, Landon.  He knows how much Jamie means to you and he wants to help.  That means he cares, right?’

‘If he cared, maybe he should have started showing it a long time ago.’

‘He was at the play, right?  He cared then.  This isn’t just a one-time act Landon.’

‘If he cared he wouldn’t have left in the first place.  What kind of a father leaves his kid?’

‘Did he, Landon?  Or did he leave your mother?’  Funny, that wasn’t my voice in my head… it was Jamie’s.

‘It’s the same thing.’  My voice again.  Jamie’s got the soul of an angel, I know she does.  So what does that say about the two voices in my head now?

‘Do you want to trust this guy, Landon?  All he does is send you checks every month.  Are you going to let him off easy just because he decided to sprinkle a little money on you?’

‘It’s more than just “a little” money, Landon.  Just hospital care is expensive, think about how much home care costs!  This is about more than just money Landon, he cares.’

Despite driving the speed limit and making full stops at every stop sign, I eventually made it to my father’s house.  By then I had decided that maybe he did care, but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook for walking out on my mom and me.  I had exactly what I was going to tell him planned out.  I was going to thank him for helping Jamie, let him know that she was thankful too, and then I would leave.

‘That’s all, Landon, it’s all you’re going to do,’ I kept telling myself as I approached the door.  ‘Simple.  No-brainer.  You’ve had spelling tests harder than this.  So why can’t you make your hand stop shaking and just ring the doorbell?’

My dad opened the door, and even though I tried to just tell him what I had planned to say nothing would come out.  I stuck my hands in my pockets so he wouldn’t see that I was shaking.  I hoped that he would say something, but I knew he had said it all when he decided to pay for Jamie’s home care.  I could feel my planned speech melting apart in my throat.  I just stood there on his doorstep, and suddenly I realized how alone I felt.  I didn’t know what was going to happen to Jamie, and I was scared even though I tried to hide it.  I didn’t know where to go or what to do.  Everything I had thought about on my way to his house was gone, the shoulder angel and devil were gone and it was just me; just Landon.

“Thank you,” I finally choked out.

My dad took a step toward me, carefully.  I could barely keep myself under control.  I felt so scared, so lost… like a lost child.  It was like the time I got lost in a shopping center when I was a little kid; I just wanted someone to find me and help me… I wanted my dad back.  The tears in my eyes were spilling out now, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around my dad as I let out a sob.  He was surprised at first, but then I felt him hug me tightly as I cried on his shoulder right there in the doorway.

After I calmed down a little bit, we went inside and my dad made me a cup of coffee.  We were sitting in the living room, neither of us saying anything.

“Dad, I…”

“Landon, I’m…” we both started at the same time.

 “Go ahead,” I told him.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been a great father Landon.  I know I haven’t always been there for you… but I hope you know that I still love you.”

“Then why did you leave me?” I said through clenched teeth.

“I didn’t leave you, Landon.  I wanted to have some custody over you too, but that would’ve meant so much time in court.  Your mother and I couldn’t agree on how to divide our time, and you were too young… we didn’t want you to go through all that legal mess.  I’m sorry you didn’t understand.”

‘So Jamie was right…’ I thought to myself.  “So you didn’t leave because of me?”

“No, of course not Landon.  Your mother and I didn’t always agree or get along, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you!  You’re still my son.”

I put my cup of coffee down on the table and held my head in my hands.  How could I have been so wrong?  “Dad, I’m so sorry for blocking you out of my life.  I didn’t know… I… I just figured that you didn’t want me.  I never listened to mom when she tried to explain because I was so convinced…”  I started to cry again.

“Landon, it’s okay.  I’m just glad to have you back.”

I spent about another hour there at my dad’s house, just talking.  I told him that I wanted to be a doctor, which made him pretty happy.  I talked to him about Jamie, how it all started with that terrible mess we got Clay Gephardt into and resulted in the whole play and everything afterwards.  He heard about our first date, Jamie’s star, her to-do list… everything but my plans to marry her.  I hadn’t really gotten anywhere with that one when I talked to Reverend Sullivan, so I figured I’d keep it under wraps for the time being.  When I left, I thanked him again for all that he was doing for Jamie.

“Thanks again, dad, for all that you’ve done for Jamie.  It really means a lot to us.”

“You’re welcome, Landon.  It’s the least I could do for you.”

I got into my car, and I leaned against the steering wheel as I watched my dad go back into his house.  ‘Thank you, Jamie, for all that you’ve done for my dad and me.  It really means a lot,’ I thought as I started the car and drove off.

Coming soon...
Chapter 15