Dinner And The Hospital
By: Jamie Sommers
Email: jamiesommers23@hotmail.com
Rated: PG-13
Date:
Synopsis: With the baby’s
birth coming near, Jamie is determined to find out who donated the bone marrow
that saved her life.
Dinner And The Hospital
They argued for two
hours; he was certain that she was just a bitch and she was positive that he
was an idiot.
“Listen Trace,”
Dean took a deep breath and released it slowly.
“We can’t keep doing this. We’re
either going to figure this out and get married or we’re going to let this
consume us and go our separate ways.” He
pushed his hands deep into his pants pockets and hoped for the best. “Personally I’d like to work it through. I…I love you Trace and I want to be with you,
but I can’t keep doing this.” The tone in his voice was soft and
comforting. Something unusual for
Dean. “Guess it’s up to you now.”
Tracey listened to
his plea and felt her heart break as she said, “Then I guess we go our separate
ways.” She couldn’t look at him. She knew she was breaking his heart but she
had no choice. What good was she? Why would he want to be with her? She was damaged goods now. “I’m sorry Dean.” She walked out of their
apartment without looking back.
~ ~ ~
“Landon? Did you get the drill from downstairs?” Jamie asked as she lifted the pastel colored
mobile to attach it above the baby’s crib.
“We’re going to need it for the changing table.”
“Right,” Landon
slapped his hands against his denim clad thighs and said, “Drill. Be right back.”
Jamie’s belly was
getting rounder and such getting in her way more and more often. She attempted once more to lean over the crib
and attach the mobile to the wall mounting above the infant’s bed, but her
protruding belly continued to be a hindrance.
“Well for goodness sake,” she softly complained. “This is unbelievable.” She stretched her fingers and came within an
inch of the wall attachment’s bracket. Giving up for the moment, she stepped
back on her haunches and said to her belly, “Okay, you’ve really gotta give me
a helping hand here. Now how am I
supposed to put up this beautiful angel mobile that Grandma bought you if you
won’t let me hang it?” She tiptoed and
tried again, but to no avail. The
bracket seemed to be just out of reach. “Come
on honey,” she said softly to the baby. “Just
move down a little so mommy can reach this.”
She tried to rub her hands over her belly and gently maneuver the baby’s
position then stood up on her toes one last time. She stretched until she felt the burning
sensation of her muscles pulling in her legs and under her arm. “Juuuuuust a liiiiiiiiittle close….ugh!” The mobile crashed to the ground as Jamie
dropped to her knees in pain.
“Jamie!!!” Landon dropped the drill and ran towards his
wife. His arms were around her in a
matter of seconds. “Jamie?? Jamie??”
He continued to call out to her but he could see that all too familiar
glaze come over her eyes: the look of her losing consciousness.
“Please God…
please.” He begged silently. “Don’t take
her from me.” Her eyes were closed and
her breath shallow as Landon laid her gently back on the carpeting. Rushing towards the phone he picked it up and
dialed 911.
~ ~ ~
Jamie’s eyelids
felt heavy as she tried to open them.
She looked around the room and closed her eyes, then opened them again
trying to focus on her surroundings. “Where…”
she choked and swallowed.
Landon’s mother
jumped out of her seat and ran to the edge of Jamie’s bed. “Shhhh, sweetheart. Shhh.
I’ll go get Landon. Don’t move.” She hurried out the door to find Landon
speaking with the doctor next to the nurse’s station. “She’s awake.
She’s awake.”
Landon rushed into
her hospital room and stopped dead in his tracks. He stared at her and in a rush of air he
said, “Oh God baby you scared the shit out of me.”
“Lan..” Jamie’s throat was dry as she tried to
speak. “Qu..quit…swe…swearing.”
Landon let a burst
of laughter out and said, “Sorry babe. I
didn’t mean it.” He captured her hand in his own and brought it to his
lips. “I just got so frightened.”
She swallowed and
nodded her head as if saying, I know.
Closing her eyes she shook her head back and forth trying to clear the
fuzzies away. “I...” she cleared her
throat. “What happened?” she whispered.
Landon stepped back
as the doctor and nurses starting working on his wife. “You passed out.”
“From what?” Jamie
asked. Her throat had started to feel
lubricated again.
“Well Jamie,” her
doctor said. “We’re going to figure that
out.” She walked over to the fetal monitor and ripped the paper off that had
been leaving a printed trail of the baby’s heartbeat. “At first I thought it was just a side effect
of being pregnant, but most women wake up within twenty minutes or so. They usually don’t stay unconscious for three
hours.”
“Three hours?”
Jamie tried to sit upright, but the nurse held her shoulders down and said, “Not
too quick. We wouldn’t want you to get
lightheaded.”
“Landon?” Jamie
looked at her husband, then at her mother in law and her father. “Please?
Someone tell me what’s going on.”
~ ~ ~
It had been almost two
weeks since Tracey had left Dean and it still felt as if she had just slammed
the door on him. He often wondered if
there was something he could’ve done to prevent all of this from
happening. Could he have been a little
nicer? A little more patient? He thought back to all the times he yelled at
her, pushed her… “God Dean no wonder she left your ass.”
This had been his
routine since the day she left. He’d
wake up and notice her side of the bed was empty, then he’d replay all of the
horrible moments of their relationship in his mind, and he’d end it by saying
something disparaging to himself. Today
was no different, until the phone rang.
“May I speak with
Tracey please?”
“She’s not here.”
He said forlornly. “Who is this?”
“Is this her
fiancé?” the strange voice on the other end of the phone said.
Without thinking he
said, “Yeah it is.”
“This is Good
Samaritan hospital in
“Uh… sure.” Dean was at a loss for words. “I’ll…I mean, we’ll be there.” He hung up the phone and jumped into the
shower. He was going to find Tracey and
get to the bottom of this.
Tracey’s mother
Caroline was putting up laundry on a makeshift clothesline just as she noticed
Dean walking towards her. She glared at
him as though he had done something wrong, and then screamed towards the house,
“Tracey!! Your…Dean is here!” Caroline
dropped the wet shirt she was holding into the laundry basket and met Dean in
the middle of the yard. “Hello Dean.”
Dean couldn’t help
but think, ‘why are you looking at ME like this? She’s the one that left. Not me.’
“Hello Caroline. How’re you
doing?” He was trying to be on his best
behavior. Caroline had demanded respect
with her quiet authority and her pleasant, yet down to earth ways, so Dean
never acted towards her the way he did towards others. “It’s been a long time ...”
“Yes it has.” She
paused before saying, “I’ve called to Tracey.
With any luck she’ll pull her head out of her ass and come out here and
talk to you.”
Dean couldn’t help
but laugh. “Her head out of her ass?” he
asked innocently.
“Oh come on now
Dean. You’re not going to tell me that
you’re not thinking the same thing, are you?
That girl’s a darn fool.”
Caroline started to walk back to her laundry. “Come on and give me a hand with this stuff
before it gets all wrinkled.”
Dean breathed a
sigh of relief when she started to treat him as she had in the past, but he
couldn’t help but wonder what that look was for when she had first seen him, so
he decided to ask. “Caroline. Why…I mean…if you think that Tracey’s acting
like, and I’m quoting here, a darn fool, then why’d ya look at me like you
thought it was my fault?”
Caroline tilted her
head to the side and sighed, “Because it took you two weeks to smarten up and
come after my girl. Besides,” she bent
down and retrieved another item of clothing before slapping it into the air and
saying, “I’m supposed to be on her side.
I’m her mother. Now that doesn’t
mean that I’m not a realist and I don’t know when my girl is making a mistake,
but I’ll support her no matter what her choice is.” She hung up a pair of jeans and turned to
Dean who was putting a pair of socks on the line a few feet away. “Even if that means saying goodbye to you,
Dean.”
“Let’s hope it
doesn’t go that far.”
“Dean she’s living
with me and not her fiancé. I’d say it’s
already reached that point wouldn’t you?”
Caroline turned the empty laundry basket over and started to walk
towards her back door. Stopping as she
reached the entrance she turned to Dean and said, “Well??? You coming in or you
gonna stay out here all afternoon and wait for that stubborn girl to come to
her senses? Because if you’re gonna wait… lets just say, you could be old and
gray before she comes out of that room.”
Dean’s lips lifted
in a half hearted grin as he accepted her invitation. He really didn’t have a choice. If he was going to make it to that doctor’s
appointment on time in
When he had gotten
the phone call yesterday he was determined to find out from Tracey what was
going on, but then he realized that she’d probably shut the door in his face
and go to the appointment on her own, if at all. So he decided to convince her to take a ride
with him today and tell her that he just wanted to talk. To find out what she wanted to do with the
things that they had bought together… anything.
He just had to get her into that car and once he did, he’d head over to
~ ~ ~
“What is this slop
they call food? Okay I’ll admit the
jell-o is pretty good, but the rest of this…”
Landon had been trying to raise Jamie’s spirits ever since the doctor
had broken the news to her yesterday, but nothing was working. She had just lay in bed and kept to
herself. Landon was getting very
concerned about her mental well being, not just her physical one. Before when she had been diagnosed with
cancer she had dealt with it. She lived
her life with gusto, but now… “Jamie?” Landon spoke softly. “The doctor didn’t say it was definite. She said she wanted to run some tests to rule
it out. That’s a big difference.”
“No. No it’s not Landon.” Jamie wiped a tear away from her eye. “If I had known that God was going to take me
away from my baby I would’ve never had it.
Never.” She cried. “I know what it’s like to live your life
without a parent…without a mother. I
didn’t want that for my baby. I wanted
to give it everything I never had.”
“No one said that
you weren’t going to be here for this baby!
No one!” Landon countered.
“But…but…” Jamie’s
tears were streaming down her face. “I
can’t do this again Landon. I can’t.”
He pushed the cart
with her food on it out of the way and took her in his arms. His tears began to join hers. “I know baby.
I know. But we’ll make it through
no matter what.” He placed a light,
healing kiss on her lips then held her close to him again. “Please baby… Please don’t lose faith on me
now. Our baby needs your strength. I need your strength” He pulled back and
looked into her eyes, “I need you to believe Jamie.”
She nodded and
wiped her tears from her cheeks. “Okay,”
she sniffed. “We’ll get through this,
right?” She said with false hope.
“Right,” he agreed
with as much delusiveness.
“God wouldn’t let
my child spend its life wondering about its mother. I know He wouldn’t.”
“Nope. He’s just testing us to make sure we’re ready
for parenthood. Wondering if we can
handle scrapes and bruises when the baby gets older. I mean… if this kid’s anything like I was as
a kid. Whoooeeey. We’re gonna be spending an awful lot of time
in the emergency room.” Landon winked
then breathed a sigh of relief. He had
finally gotten Jamie to smile.
“Forgive me
Landon. I never meant to lose hope. It’s just that sometimes it’s hard keeping
the faith.” She looked down at the
floor, and then lifted up her eyes to meet Landon’s. “Even I’m not perfect you know? Sometimes I get scared of the future.”
“I know baby. Sometimes I get scared too and God knows I’m
faaaaaaaaar from perfect.”
Jamie laughed and
said, “You’re telling me.”
~ ~ ~
“Dean where the
hell are you taking me? I agreed to go
on a short ride with you, not to leave the state.” Tracey bellowed from the passenger side seat.
“I’m just driving.”
“Well drive the
other way. I wanna go home.”
“Home? HOME??”
Dean started to let his anger get the best of him. “So when you say home do you mean our home?
Or do you mean your mom’s home?”
“We don’t have a
home anymore Dean. Don’t you get that?”
“No Trace. I don’t get that.” He took a deep breath as he pulled off of the
highway and headed to the hospital. “Trace,
what happened to us?” He made a left
turn at the corner and followed the bright blue signs on the side of the street
featuring the big “H.”
Tracey’s heart
began to pound when she recognized the area they were in. “Dean,” her voice started to sound
shrill. “Where the fu…”
“Don’t Trace.” He
cut her off. “Don’t say anything.” He
pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. As he parked the car he turned towards her and
said, “Your doctor’s office called yesterday and said that your results came
back. Your doctor needs to see you right
away.”
Tracey turned her
head to look out her window, she couldn’t face him. “I told them that I had a
new number.”
“What’s going on
Trace? What tests did you take and why
does this doctor have to see you right away?”
“Look Dean… would
you mind waiting out here for me?”
“Mind? Yeah I mind.
I want to know what’s going on Tracey.”
He reached over the car seat and placed his hand on her shoulder. “You can trust me you know.”
“I know,” she
sniffed. “Oh Dean,” she cried as she
quickly turned into his arms. “I…have
cancer.”
“What??” he shook
his head and said again, “What?? What do you mean you have cancer?”
“I…I have…cancer.” She let her tears cleanse her of the past few
months’ pain
“Wait a second…
Trace… calm down.” He stroked her hair
and held her for a few minutes. “Hey,”
he said softly. “Your appointment is in
couple of minutes. Why don’t we go in there and see what he says okay?”
~ ~ ~
“The good news is…
the tests came out negative. You’re
still cancer free. The bad news…” the
doctor sighed. “You have something
called pre – eclampsia or toxemia.”
“Is it serious,”
Landon asked.
“Yes, it can
be. Very serious. However, with bed rest and following my
explicit instructions, everything should be fine.” The doctor reassured.
“Tell me,” Jamie
sat upright. “What do I have to do?”
“Ahhh, that’s the
thing.” The doctor continued as she
walked to the foot of the bed. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
“But you said…”
Jamie looked confused. “You said I had
to follow your instructions.”
“Yes I did.” The
doctor walked over to the side of Jamie’s bed where Landon stood and looked
back and forth between the two of them. “I
want you to do nothing. No cooking,
cleaning… nothing. Just bed rest.”
“How is that going
to cure this toxemia?” Landon asked with a befuddled look upon his face.
“Toxemia is a form
of chronic high blood pressure. There
aren’t any medications that can be taken for it. It’s simply kept in control for the remainder
of Jamie’s pregnancy by not allowing her pressure to rise.” The doctor walked
around the bed and picked up Jamie’s chart.
“What we’re shooting for here is to get Jamie through her eighth month,
and then we can deliver safely.”
“Wait.” Landon held
up his hand and said, “Wait a minute here.
Are you telling me that she’s going to have to stay in bed for the next
two months?”
“Yes,” the doctor
replied.
“Even if I feel
fine?” Jamie asked. “I mean…what if I’m feeling fine. Not lightheaded or anything?”
The doctor’s head
was shaking back and forth, “No.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’ve seen too many women lose their babies
because they ‘felt well enough’ to do something. You can’t assume that because you’re feeling
better that you’re toxemia is gone. That’s
not how it works.” She placed the chart
on the hook at the foot of Jamie’s bed. “I’ll
be to the point. If you don’t stay on
complete bed rest then you’ll lose this baby.”
Jamie and Landon
turned towards one another with looks of panic on their faces.
“This is not a
disease to take lightly. This is
something very serious.”
~ ~ ~
“Tracey.” Dean watched her doctor reach out to shake
her hand then come towards him. “You
must be Dean.”
“Yeah,” Dean shook
the doctor’s outstretched hand and got right to the point. “What’s this about Trace having cancer?”
The doctor looked at
Tracey and said, “Dean I’m not sure how much Tracey has informed you, but we’ve
been doing some tests on her. It seems
that she’s been feeling exceptionally tired, lifeless and having severe pain.”
Dean looked at
Tracey as though she were a stranger. He
knew nothing of her being in pain. Sure
he could sense that she was feeling a bit sluggish lately, but who isn’t. Now that they weren’t in high school anymore
they had to fend for themselves. They
were both working a lot of overtime lately… or were they? As much as dean wanted an answer he knew that
this wasn’t the time or the place. He
listened as the doctor continued.
“…when we did the
biopsy, unfortunately it did unearth cancerous cells. Tracey,” the doctor walked up to her and
placed his hand on her shoulder. “We’ll
want to schedule this surgery right away.
There’s no more postponing it okay?”
“Postponing?” Dean
questioned. “Have you been putting this
off?” He looked at Tracey with a
dumbfounded expression and could feel his anger building up inside. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep
his temper under control. First he finds
out that she’s been lying to him now she’s pretty much been taking a chance
with her life just so she wouldn’t have to tell him the truth. “How long have you known about this cancer
Trace?” He stood directly in front of
her. “How long Trace?”
Tracey lifted up
her tear-streaked face and said, “About a month.”
Dean took a deep
breath and released it. “Why…” he lifted
his hand to his face and covered his mouth with his palm. He squeezed his eyes closed and told himself,
‘calm down man. Calm down.’ “I’m just trying to figure this out. You’ve known you’ve had cancer for a month
and you didn’t bother to tell me???”
“Dean.” The doctor
could sense that there was something brewing between the two of them but he
also knew that this anger could also be displaced. “I’m sure you’re upset with Tracey but you
must remember she was trying to come to terms with this herself. As a cancer victim you go through certain
stages…”
Dean listened to
the doctor half-heartedly as he rambled about the different stages of cancer,
its treatment and how he had to be supportive and understanding. All Dean wanted to do at that very minute was
punch the guy in the face and tell him to shut up. “God damn it!!” Dean screamed out in the
middle of the doctor’s sentence. “Why
the fuck didn’t you tell me?” He knocked a container full of tongue depressors
off of the counter then turned to yell some more. “What is it with you? Why can’t you just trust me? Why can’t you just… just…”
The doctor put his
hand on Dean’s shoulder and said, “Dean this is what I was speaking of when I
discussed displaced anger.”
Tracey looked at
Dean and then at the doctor and said, “No doc.
This is just Dean. Welcome to my
world.”
~ ~ ~
“Seriously Landon,”
Jamie giggled as he situated the baby monitor on their nightstand. “Can’t I just scream for you when I need
something?” She closed her eyes and
shook her head as her smile took over her face. Her wonderful husband, she thought. Is there nothing he doesn’t think of?
“Nah baby. You don’t wanna scream. Besides… why do that when we’ve got this
really cool baby monitor? I don’t think
the baby will mind. It’s not like he’s
using it or anything.”
“Good point.” Jaime lifted her arms and made a come here
motion with her hands.
Landon bent down
over Jamie and kissed her gently on the lips.
“Mmmmm, I love your lips,” he murmured against her mouth.
“I love yours too.”
Their kiss deepened
as Landon sat on the bed’s edge. He
braced one arm on the edge of the bed then curled the other behind her, pulling
her closer to him. Jamie’s fingers
curled in his hair as she allowed his tongue to dance upon hers with gentle
swirling motions.
Landon grunted as
he pulled his lips away from hers. “I’m
going to really miss making love to you.”
“I’m going to miss
it too,” Jamie said with a sorrowful smile.
“I already do.”
“Well…” Landon lifted himself up and stood at the bed’s
edge. “Time to get this monitor fixed
up. Now where are the batteries?”
Jamie knew that he
was trying his best to make her comfortable and to keep her as well as their
baby safe. She loved him for his efforts
and thanked God for Landon’s patience. “I
think they’re in the kitchen drawer next to the fridge, but I’m not sure.”
“ ‘kay. I’ll go look.” He took a deep breath and began to walk out
the door. As he reached the hallway he
turned towards her and said, “I love you Jamie.”
“I love you too
Landon.” She smiled at him and thought
back to the day that he first talked about his feelings for her. They were in the cafeteria and he told her
that he missed spending time with her.
When she called him on his bluff, it was she that got the shock of a
lifetime. He wasn’t bluffing. He really did want to be with her. Enough to chase her out of the building and
to confront her face to face.
She rubbed her
stomach and felt the baby move within her.
“Oh Landon, how I love you.”
~ ~ ~
Dean sat in his car
and kept telling himself that it would be fine.
Every thing was going to be fine.
The doctor scheduled surgery for Tracey the next day. In the meantime Dean was going to pick up a
few things for her and arrange for her to be off of work for an extended period
of time. After speaking with Tracey’s
boss he started on his way to her mom’s house.
Tracey didn’t want her to find out over the phone, but she wasn’t able
to go see her mom. She fought with the
doctor about going home that night. “Why
can’t I just come back in the morning so I can tell my mom?”
Dean had said that
he’d tell her and here he was. Sitting a
block away from her house trying to figure out how to tell her that her
daughter had cancer and had to undergo surgery in the morning? He thought back to his reaction at the
hospital. How angry he’d gotten, but the
doctor was right. He wasn’t angry with
Tracey, he was upset with the fact that he might lose her. He couldn’t survive without her and he knew
that now for certain. He saw her face
flashing before his eyes, ‘welcome to my world.’ Was he really that much of a bastard? Slamming on the steering wheel of his car he
tried to let his mind go blank when suddenly it hit him. There was someone that knew what he was going
through. There were two people that knew
exactly what he was going through and maybe, just maybe they could help. He started his car and headed towards Landon
and Jamie’s house.
~ ~ ~
“Laaaaaaaaaaaaaahnnndon!!” Jamie called out. “Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahn…oh. There you are.” She smiled as she held the phone out to
him. “It’s your dad.”
Landon smiled as he
took the receiver. “Babe you really don’t
have to scream. I can hear you with the
monitor,” he smacked the bulge in his shirt pocket and said, “Remember?”
“Oh,” she squinted up
her nose and said. “I forgot. Sorry.”
Landon plopped down
in a chair with the cordless phone and said into the receiver, “Hey pops what’s
up?”
“I think I’ve found
Jamie’s donor Landon.”
“What???” Landon sat upright in his chair and said, “Who? When?
How?”
“Whoa, calm down
son. I know you’re excited but one thing
at a time okay?” Worth Carter chuckled
into the phone and said, “You’re not going to believe it when I tell you who it
is.”
“Why? What’s going on dad? Who donated it?”
“He found my donor?”
Jamie sat up in bed and felt her heart rate increase with excitement.
“He thinks so,”
Landon said to her as he listened to his dad tell him who her donor was. Landon collapsed in his chair as he heard the
news. “There’s no way…”
“What’s going on
Landon?” Jamie was getting worried.
“Wait a second dad,”
Landon held the phone against his shirt and said, “Give me a second baby. Let me finish up with my dad and I’ll tell
you what’s going on.”
Landon asked his
father many questions and listened carefully to each answer. He knew about the drive at the school. How all the kids had gotten tested to see if
their bone marrow matched Jamie’s? He
knew she was on the national list but he never in a million years imagined that
the answer to his prayers was living in Beaufort. He hung up the phone and sat with Jamie on
the bed. Staring straight ahead he said
in a dreamlike tone, “Tracey. Tracey
saved your life baby.”
Jamie’s eyes filled
with tears. She couldn’t believe what
she was hearing. Tracey the girl that
she could’ve sworn hated her with every fiber of her being, was the person that
gave her life. “I don’t understand
Landon. How could we have not known?”
“I don’t know baby.” He adjusted himself on the bed into a
position that allowed Jamie to curl against him. His legs stretched out next to hers he said, “Tracey….”
~ ~ ~
Dean knocked on the
front door and waited for a moment then knocked again. He could hear Landon calling out, “One
minute.” A moment later the door opened.
“Hey man!” Landon’s heart was full of joy as he saw his
friend standing in his doorway. “We were
just going to call you two.” Landon
looked around Dean’s form and said, “Where’s Tracey? Jamie would really like to see her.” He moved out of the doorway and said, “Come
in. Come in.” His excitement overwhelmed him.
“Tracey’s not here
man.” Dean walked into their living room
and stood still. “She’s in the hospital.”
“What?” Landon’s joy suddenly deflated. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“She’s got
cancer. Can you believe it? Cancer.”
Dean no longer felt the desire to hit something. Instead he collapsed onto a chair in the
parlor and cried into his hands.
Landon did what he
could to comfort his friend. He consoled
Dean the way that Dean had consoled him not to long ago. “It’s a bitch isn’t it? Did they say what type it is?”
“Ovarian,” Dean
said with a gulp.
“What are they
doing for it?” Jamie asked at the top of the stairs.
Both men looked up
at her in surprise. They hadn’t realized
that she had been listening to their conversation.
“Jamie, you’re not
supposed to get out of bed.” Landon made
his way up the stairs two at a time until he reached her. Taking her shoulders in his hands he said
gently, “Baby you’re supposed to be lying down.
Come on.” He turned her towards
their room and began to walk her back to bed.
“That explains it,”
Jamie whispered to Landon as he tucked her in.
“That night. Do you remember that
night that we were out at that restaurant?
We were supposed to be meeting my bone marrow donor and that’s when
Tracey and Dean showed up. She was so
upset with me that night Landon. So
upset.”
“Shhhh,” Landon
comforted her. “Baby, don’t worry about
that right now.” He stood up and placed
a kiss on her forehead then leaned down and kissed her belly. “Let me go back down with him and I promise I’ll
fill you in as soon as I can, okay?”
“Sure,” she said
with a sorrowful lilt in her voice. “Give
him my best Landon. Tell him I’ll pray
for her.”
~ ~ ~
They talked for
over an hour about their life just over a year ago. How everything was so carefree and they didn’t
have a worry in the world. Waking up and
going to school…the finals…the gossip…the flyers… none of it mattered
anymore. Sure it’s what molded them into
the adults that they were today, but it all seemed so trivial when they looked
back at it.
Dean thought about
many different things before asking, “Landon?
Do you ever feel like it’s your fault that Jamie was sick?”
Landon remembered when he had first found out about Jamie's
illness and how he had told God that he was sorry for whatever he had done in
his life, but to please don't take it out on Jamie. "Yeah man. I
did. Funny part is that she was sick when we got together, but I still
thought it was God's way of punishing me."
"Yeah," Dean sighed. "That's kind of how I
feel." He stood up and paced around the room before
confessing. "I've been a shitty boyfriend and an even worse
fiancé."
"Aww come on man. You're not THAT bad."
"No Landon. You're wrong. I am that bad." Dean
sniffled and walked to the sliding glass doors. Looking out he said, “I’m
a son of a bitch to her man. I talk to her like shit and... Christ!
I can't even count how many times I've pushed her or shoved her
or..." Dean began thinking about all of the things that he'd done to
her in the past and hung his head down.
Landon worried for a brief second before asking, "You've
never hit her have you?"
"No, but I'm sure I would've eventually." Dean
turned around and looked at Landon and said, "How'd you do it man?
How'd you change?"
"Well," he toed at the ground and lifted his face to
look at Dean. "If you ask Jamie, I was always like this, I just
didn't know it. I on the other hand, think that it was her love that
changed me." Landon walked towards Dean and stood next to him
looking out the glass doors. "I remember once... I told my mom that
Jamie had faith in me and that she made me want to be a better
person." Landon turned to face Dean and said, "It's amazing
what the love of a good woman can do for a guy." He grinned and
placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. "Tracey sees something in
you Dean, something that you just haven't seen for yourself yet. All you
need to do now is look at yourself through her eyes."
"That's the thing Landon. I have been and what I see I
don't like."
"No man. You're not listening to me. You aren't
seeing what Tracey sees. You're looking at what you've been and what
you've done." Landon was trying to explain this in a way that would
help Dean look past his faults, but he wasn't sure if he knew how. After
a moment he knew exactly what to say. "Dean. I've known you a
long time and during that time I've seen a side of you that most people haven't."
Landon looked up the stairs to make sure that Jamie wasn't in hearing range and
said, "Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you haven't been a
total asshole at times..."
"Gee thanks man," Dean interrupted.
"But... if I had thought you were just a jerk than I wouldn't
have continued being your friend. It's the same thing with Tracey.
You can't honestly tell me that you've never done anything good for her."
"No. I've done good things I guess. But
still..."
"That's it man. That's all you need to look at right
now. Look at the good things that you've done for her. That's what
she sees Dean. She sees that man that you really are. Now all you
have to do is see it for yourself."
A crackling noise came from his pocket then Jamie's voice
filtered through the baby monitor. "Landon?"
Dean looked at Landon with a half-hearted grin and said, "Go
on up to her. I've got to let Tracey's mom know what's going on
anyway."
"You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah. I'll be fine. I've just got a lot of
thinking to do."
"Listen, tell Tracey that we're thinking of her. I'll
call Eric and the gang and let them know so you won't have to. You've got
enough to deal with."
"Thanks Landon." Dean walked towards the front
door and turned to him, "For everything."
"Anytime man." Landon grabbed Dean in a bear hug
and said, "Anytime you need to talk I'm here."
Dean patted him on the back and said, "I'll call you after
her surgery and let you know what happened."
Landon closed the door behind Dean and walked upstairs to Jamie.
When he entered the room he found her bent over the toilet getting sick.
"Baby? What's wrong?" He immediately pulled her hair back
and started to rub her back.
Jamie sat back on her haunches and said, "Oh, it's just me
being pregnant." She grinned up at him and said, "That's the
funny thing about morning sickness. It never comes in the morning."
Landon chuckled a bit and helped to clean his wife up before
tucking her back into bed. He curled up next to her.
Jamie rolled onto her side and pressed her belly up against
Landon's. "Landon?" she asked.
"Yeah baby."
"I was thinking... I'd like to ask Tracey to be the baby's
Godmother. What do you think?"
"I think that would be perfect."
"Me too," she sighed and closed her eyes. As she
adjusted herself under the covers she said, "This is what God planned
isn't it? Tracey gave me life and now we can share our baby’s life with
her." Jamie yawned and said groggily, "It was meant to
be."
Landon kissed his wife on her forehead and watched her as she
slept.
~~~
"Dean." The doctor called to him as he walked into the
surgical waiting room.
"Doc!" Dean stood up and rubbed the sleep out of
his eyes as the doctor moved closer to him. "Tracey's mom just went
to grab a cup of coffee. She'll be right back. How's Tracey? Can I
see her?" Dean rambled.
"She's in recovery right now. You'll be able to see
her shortly." The doctor took a seat and said, "Sit down
Dean."
Dean worried when he saw the doctor's expression.
"How's Tracey?" He asked again.
"The surgery went well. We had to remove...."
Dean sat and listened as the doctor told him about the
surgical procedure. The cancer was removed but they still wanted to do
radiation as well as chemo therapy to assure that it wouldn't return. The
doctor also confirmed Dean's worst fear. Tracey would never be able to
have children. He could live his life without them. He was fine
with that, but he knew from Tracey's reaction to seeing Jamie pregnant that she
would have a hard time with it.
"I'll check to see if the nurses have Tracey cleaned up so
you can sit with her," the doctor said.
Dean walked into the recovery room and looked at his
fiancé. He had decided that she was going to marry him no matter
what. He loved her and she loved him and they would spend their lives
together. He wasn't going to give her a choice about it either.
Dean smiled as he looked at her freckled face in peaceful slumber.
The nurse checked Tracey's IV then pulled up a chair for Dean to
sit in. "She's resting now, but should wake up shortly."
"Thanks." Dean sat down next to Tracey's hospital
bed and took her hand in his. He lifted it to his lips and placed a soft
hiss on it, then laid it back down on the bed. "You're going to be
alright babe. We're both going to be alright." He settled down
in the chair and thought about Landon and Jamie and all that they had been
through. "We've got a long life ahead of us you and I and we're
going to make the most of it," he said with closed eyes. As he dozed
off he placed his hand atop of Tracey's and whispered. "I love
you."
Tracey felt his hand cover hers and his moist lips press against
it. She wasn't sure if she had been dreaming or if it had been real, but
she knew that it felt good. She heard Dean's voice in her head but her
eyelids were too heavy to open. Tired. Tired, she thought.
I'm so tired. Dean was whispering to her again this time she opened her
eyes and looked over at him dozing on a chair. "I love you,"
he'd said. Tracey's lips lifted in a slight smile as she mouthed, “I love
you too." She willed her hand to turn over and to clasp his.
Dean opened his eyes when he felt Tracey’s hand move in his. “Hi,” he said softly.
“Hi,” she whispered back.
“I’ve got something for you.”
Dean put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the engagement ring he
had gotten for Tracey when he first proposed to her, and then gently slipped it
on her finger. "It's never coming off again," he said with
quiet authority.
Smiling at him she whispered, "No it's not."
They both knew that they had just taken the first step towards
forever and nothing would ever come between them again.
~ ~ ~
“That’s great Dean. Really
great,” Landon held the phone away from his face and said to Jamie, “Tracey’s
doing fine. She pulled through with no
problems.”
Jamie smiled and said, “Give her my best.”
Landon continued to talk to Dean for a few more minutes then hung
up the phone. “Well it sounds like the
operation was a success. It’s hard to
believe that she put it off for almost a month.
I sure am glad that it didn’t spread any further.” Landon placed his hand on Jamie’s belly and
held it there. Within a matter of minutes
the baby started tapping at the spot where his hand lay.
“The baby knows it’s you.”
Jamie ran a hand down Landon’s face and cradled his cheek in the palm of
her hand.
“Ya think so?” Landon’s
grin went from ear to ear as his child thumped continuously.
“Mmmmm hmmmm,” Jamie reassured.
“How does the baby know where to hit?” Landon was amazed that their child was only
tapping the spot where his hand lay.
“The heat from the palm of your hand is radiating through and he
senses that.”
“It’s amazing,” Landon said in awe. After a moment he told Jamie, “Dean says
Tracey won’t be able to have children.”
“I figured that would happen.” Jamie said forlornly. “I wonder if she hadn’t put it off, if maybe…”
Jamie trailed.
“Yeah I know, but Dean says it would’ve happened no matter
what. The cancer had spread through both
ovaries so…” Landon thought for a moment
then said, “I’m really glad you’re going to ask her to be the baby’s
Godmother. I think it will mean a lot to
her.”
“Well,” Jamie sighed in utter
content. “I know it will mean a lot to
me.” She placed her hand over Landon’s
on her stomach and said, “To all of us.”