By: kf6tac/Brian and Jamie
Sommers
Email: kf6tac@yahoo.com
Rated: P/G 13
Synopsis: Landon and Jamie
have had their first date now they have to face their friends, their family and
their own fears.
I didn’t get much time after Jamie went home from the
hospital to work on her telescope. I
had planned to get to work, but things got really tight between schoolwork,
graduation rehearsals, a few AP exams, and spending more time with Jamie. I usually ended up just sitting with her in
her room, or reading some books from Mr. Rothman’s list with her. It was another two weeks before I got back
to the telescope. I had checked every
astronomy web page I could find and read just about any books on comets in the
school library, and as far as I could tell Hiakutaki would be coming around
that weekend. Building a telescope turned
out to be not as straightforward as I originally thought, but thankfully I had
bought plenty of extra materials to work with in case I made a mistake. Of course I still had to go to school during
the day, so every evening after I was done with my homework I was over in
Jamie’s yard working.
He
came everyday after school to read with me, sit with me or work on my
telescope. I tried to encourage him to study for his exams but he would
just say, "Don't worry. I'll study when I go home."
I
heard the sounds coming from outside and I knew that today he would be spending
time on my telescope. I stood on my balcony and watched him.
Banging, sawing and yelping seemed to become normal noises on any given
weekday. He smacked his thumb with the hammer again.
“Landon,
are you all right?”
“Yeah
Jamie, everything’s fine. Just a little
bad aim with the hammer. Go on inside
and get some rest, I’ll be okay.”
“Landon,
would you come up here and sit with me for a while?” I wasn't supposed to
have visitors in the house when daddy wasn't home, but lately he'd become a
little more lenient when it came to his rules. He looked up and I knew he
was going to argue with me but before he could present his case I said,
"Please?" I really needed to talk about something that had been
on my mind for a while now.
“OUCH!” It was
Wednesday evening, and I had just hit my thumb with a hammer for what must have
been the tenth time that night. I
looked up and saw Jamie standing out on her balcony. She must have heard my exclamation. ‘Good thing I didn’t swear,’ I thought to myself.
“Landon,” she called out weakly. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah Jamie, everything’s fine. Just a little bad aim with the hammer. Go on inside and get some rest, I’ll be okay.” She had been pretty weak since she went into
the hospital, and I didn’t want her to wear herself out worrying about me.
Instead of going inside though, Jamie asked me to sit with
her inside. I was a bit uncertain; I
knew her father wasn’t around and that I wasn’t supposed to be inside. She wouldn’t let me argue though, and she
sounded like she really wanted to talk so I put my tools down and went up to
her room.
He
sat on the edge of my bed and talked to me about school, his pending
exams, his mom...everything, from the tiniest detail about having to stop
at the store to buy pens on the way home to graduation.
"Landon?
I've been thinking about something lately...” I wasn't sure how to
broach such a sensitive subject.
"What
is it baby?"
"Well,
it dawned on me that...we seem to help each other an awful lot. You
know...we talk about our problems, concerns...we're friends."
"We're
more than friends. We're best friends," he leaned his head down,
placing a kiss on the back of my hand and smiled into my eyes. "I've been
so busy lately that you seem to be my only friend," he chuckled.
"Yes,
I've noticed. Which is kind of where I'm going. See...I realized that
right now I'm going through the hardest thing a person could go through in
their life, but it's not so bad because...well...I have you. But when I
go...I won't be here to talk about it with you and that kind of bothers
me. I keep thinking about things like that lately...thinking about my
friends, my family...you, and I can't help but wonder who you'll talk to when I
die." I raised my eyes to his and felt an ache in the pit of my
stomach.
"Uh...I...uh...I
don't know. My mom I guess. Maybe my dad. I don't really
know."
Tears
were starting to fill his eyes and I hated myself for causing him so much
pain. "Don't cry."
He
swallowed and said, "I won't." We were silent for a few minutes
before he said, "I'm going to miss you Jamie. I'm going to miss
seeing your face everyday, hearing you sing, making you laugh."
"I'm
going to miss you too." I brushed a tear off of his cheek with my
thumb and said, "You said you wouldn't cry."
"Sorry."
He backhanded his eyes and sniffled. "It's just hard
sometimes."
"I
know. It's hard for me too." We were quiet for a brief moment,
"Do you think you could talk with Eric or Dean?"
"Nah...they're
good friends and all, but..."
"Well
there's always your father, but he's kind of far away."
"Yeah..."
He began to chuckle one of those sad laughs. "You know, for a guy
that was considered one of the most popular kids in school... I can't even
think of one person that I can call a true friend."
"Oh,
Landon,” I didn't believe that for one second. "There must be
someone you can confide in. Someone that'll be there for you."
"Sure.
My mom...but it's gonna be hard for her too afterwards so..."
"Are
you telling me you can't think of anyone? Out of all the people you know,
you can't think of one person you can talk to.
One individual that you can bring your problems to? There has to be someone that you’ll feel
comfortable talking with? What
about…" We could hear the resounding echo of my father's footsteps on the
stairs giving us no choice but to leave our conversation unfinished.
"Landon,"
he greeted him somewhat curtly, but he wasn't quite as bad as he could've been.
"Reverend,” Landon
stood up to leave before my father could ask him to leave. "I
suppose I should get going." He leaned over and kissed my forehead
whispering, "I love you."
"I
love you too."
"I'll
see you tomorrow."
"
'kay."
"Good
night Sir," Landon nodded at my father as he made his way towards the
door.
"I'll
see you out, Landon."
"Thank
you, Sir. Good night, Jamie."
In
the morning my father brought me a tray with some breakfast on it and said,
"Landon called last night, but you were asleep."
"What
did he say?"
"He
said you asked him a question last night and to tell you, he thought of
someone…God."
After Reverend Sullivan had walked me out, I stopped at my
workbench and realized just how much work I still had left to do.
‘Couldn’t this comet show up a week later or something?’ I
thought to myself. ‘Maybe it’s better
this way, Landon. You’ve got to start
studying for finals sometime, or UNC is going to rescind your acceptance. So just get back to work… it’ll all work out
for the best.’
I was pretty tired on Thursday morning, and I could barely
stay awake in my classes at school. I
was back at Jamie’s house that evening though, hammering and working away.
The comet was supposed to pass by Sunday evening, but at
11:30 on Saturday I was still trying to get the body of the telescope finished. I hadn’t even put in the mirrors yet. For some reason I couldn’t get a certain
measurement to work out right, and while I was out there scribbling
calculations in my note pad the porch light came on and I heard the door
open. I heard Reverend Sullivan step
out and he started walking towards me.
I knew it was a little late to be doing work outside, but I needed to
get this done.
“Listen, I’ve gotta finish this tonight,” I told him as he
approached. I thought he was either
going to tell me to go home or to let him finish it up. I couldn’t do either one. He had offered to help a few times before,
but I told him that it was something I needed to do on my own for Jamie.
To my surprise, Reverend Sullivan brought with him a lantern
and a mug. “Here,” he said, setting the
mug down in front of me. “Something
hot.”
“Okay, well I’m almost finished with the rocker. Did she order the mirrors?”
“Yeah, they’re in here,” he replied, pointing me to a little
shed. As we started walking toward the
shed, he asked me “What are you going to use for the side bearings?”
“I’m using an old phonographic turn table.” He didn’t object, so I figured my idea would
work.
“You think you’ll get all of this done by tomorrow?” He sounded worried. To be honest, I was too, but I knew I would
finish that telescope. That comet was
not going to pass without Jamie getting her chance to see it. It meant too much to her… to me.
“I’ll go without sleep if I have to, but this telescope will
be done tomorrow evening. Jamie deserves
to see the comet.”
We brought the mirrors out from the shed and I went back to
work. Reverend Sullivan watched me for
a while, and apparently decided that I would be okay and he went back inside.
I worked late into the night and early into the morning. The most difficult part turned out to be
getting the mirrors set just right into the telescope, but with a little help
from books, I was able to do it. When I
was finally done, it was almost three in the morning. I put everything away and looked around. Beaufort was a small town and we weren’t
prone to graffiti and stuff like that, but I wanted to make sure that
everything was set for Jamie and even though I was exhausted, I woke up
Reverend Sullivan and asked him for help carrying it up to the balcony before I
headed home.
He agreed to help me carry the telescope upstairs, and as we
were carrying the pieces I decided to raise the issue of marriage again. “I wanna ask her to marry me,” I told him.
He stopped in the hallway and sighed. I knew he had probably been thinking about
it for the few weeks that had passed since I brought it up in the church. He didn’t say anything though, and I wasn’t
sure if I had convinced him yet or not.
As we set everything up I said, “I love her Sir and I’m
going to ask her with or without your blessing. I’d rather ask her with it.”
Reverend Sullivan still didn’t say anything, and I knew I
had to be completely open and honest with him.
“Reverend, I love her.
In my heart, Sir, she’s already my wife.”
“Is this really what you want, Landon? The doctors say she…”
“I know what the doctors say, Reverend, and I don’t
care. I want Jamie to be my wife.”
He looked me straight in the eye, and a sad smile crossed
his face. “You have my permission,
Landon. And my blessing.”
“Thank you, Reverend.”
“Hey.”
“Hi,” I was lying in bed when he got to my house. I had been feeling a bit under the weather
and thought it best if I rested while waiting for him.
“You okay?”
“Uh huh. I’m just a
little tired.”
He held onto my hand and guided me up. “I won’t stay long. Let’s just check out your comet then you can
get back into bed. ‘kay?”
“Mmmkay.”
“Come on.”
He held his arm around my waist as we walked onto my
balcony. “I can’t believe you actually
did this for me,” I put my arms around him and hugged him loosely.
“I’d do anything for you,” he whispered in my ear.
We pulled back a little but still held onto one another,
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he whispered.
“It’s beautiful,” I looked at my telescope that he had built
for me and felt the depth of his love.
“Okay it’s time. Go
check it out,” he encouraged.
“Okay,” I was so excited.
I had dreamt of this for so long and I was sure I was going to miss it,
but Landon…Landon made sure that I didn’t.
He made sure I didn’t miss out on a lot of things in my life.
“Okay.”
As I looked through the eyepiece I noticed how many stars
seemed to be out tonight, and they looked so close, like I could just reach out
and touch one. I looked out towards the
evening sky noticing how perfect it was tonight, like heaven was smiling down
on us. Looking through the eyepiece
again I made some adjustments thinking, ‘I know you’re out there
somewhere. Why can’t I find you?’ Then… “…wow…there it is.” It was beautiful. “Come here. Come look,” I
wanted Landon to see it too. I moved
away from the telescope so he could, “Come here…come look. Quick.”
As I sat down I couldn’t keep my eyes off of the sky, it was so amazing
to me. I hoped Landon could see how
magnificent this was too.
“That is cool,” he laughed.
Looking up at the sky I was again in awe of God’s
wonders. They never ceased to amaze
me. He created such beauty, so many
wonderful things. The most miraculous
one of all was sitting next to me.
“Do you love me?”
I wanted to say ‘more than life itself,’ but all I could
manage was, “Mmmmm.”
“Will you do something for me then?”
“Anything.” It was
true. I would do anything he asked.
“Will you marry me?”
My heart jumped inside of my chest. I couldn’t speak…couldn’t breathe. All I could seem to do was think, ‘Oh
Landon. Yes,’ I smiled. ‘Yes, I’ll marry you.’ He must’ve gotten my message because he
smiled back and pressed his soft lips against my own.
We looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. I loved him so much and I knew that even if
I lived to be as old as Methuselah I would still love him like this but I
didn’t want him asking me because he felt obligated to make my number one to
come true.
“Landon. Are you
sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I want you to be my wife. I’ve known it since the day that you showed
me around the back of the church. The
way the sunlight danced off of you just right, how everything seemed so
perfect… I knew that I was totally in love with you and that nothing would ever
change it.”
“But that was before you knew I was sick…” I knew that if we
went through with this, it would hurt him even more when it was my time to go.
“I know. But after
you told me, the next day I went to the church. No one was there, but I went to the back where they keep that
room for the bride. I was so lost
Jamie; I didn’t know what to do. But I
talked to God that day, and I asked him for just one thing – you. I understand now that I probably can’t have
you physically here, but that I can still have what I asked for by marrying
you.” He stopped to wipe the tears from
his eyes. “Please Jamie, please be my
wife.”
My hands cupped his elbows as I leaned down to kiss him
again. “I will Landon, I will,” I
whispered to him as our lips met. I
could taste the saltiness of my tears against his lips as our kiss grew into
one of exploration.
His hands were gently cupping my face as his mouth moved
against mine. “I love you Jamie.”
“I love you too.”
When I got to Jamie’s room, my heart was already
pounding. Her father had given me
permission… not just to take her out, or even to love her. He had given me permission to propose to
her. My mind was racing, but I knew we
still had a comet to see. When I opened
the door and walked in, Jamie was in bed.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
“You okay?” I asked her.
I didn’t want to drag her out of bed if she seriously wasn’t feeling
well.
“Uh huh. I’m just a
little tired.”
That reassured me, and I took her hand to help her up. “I won’t stay long. Let’s just check out your comet then you can
get back into bed. ‘kay?”
“Mmmmkay,” she responded as we walked slowly out onto the
balcony.
“Come on.”
“I can’t believe you actually did this for me,” she said,
giving me a hug. Part of me still couldn’t
believe that I had finished it either – there were a few times I thought I was
going to fall asleep at the work bench.
But it was done, and I was glad I stuck through it.
“I’d do anything for you,” I whispered back. If I could, I would have given any number of
days of my life to let Jamie live longer.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“It’s beautiful,” she said, looking at the finished
telescope sitting on her balcony. I
hadn’t been able to paint over the body, so it still had a brand name running
across it. I smiled, somewhat amused
that it could still be beautiful.
“Okay, it’s time. Go
check it out,” I told her.
She walked slowly over to the telescope and began adjusting
the knobs while she looked through the eyepiece. I watched her and was mesmerized by her eagerness and
anticipation; she still seemed so innocent and perfect despite all that had
been happening lately.
“Wow… there it is,” she said, when she had found the comet
in the night sky. After she watched it
for a while, she turned and said to me “Come here, come look… quick.”
We switched places, and she sat down on a chair while I
looked through the telescope. I had
built the thing, but I never had the opportunity to look through it before I
brought it up. I was just glad that it worked. And then I saw the comet, blazing its way
across the sky. I was at a loss for
words… all I could say was “That is cool,” followed by a laugh at how stupid I
had just sounded.
I sat down next to Jamie and after a few moments, I asked
her “Do you love me?”
“Mmmmm,” she replied, smiling.
“Will you do something for me then?”
“Anything.”
‘All I need is one thing, baby… that’s all,’ I thought to
myself. I took a deep breath and tried
to keep calm. My heart was beating like
I had never felt it beat before. I
looked back at Jamie and when I let my breath out, I asked her the question I
had been building up to.
“Will you marry me?”
Her eyes widened and her smile got just a little bit
bigger. She didn’t say anything, but I
could feel her answer in my heart and in my thoughts. I leaned in and kissed her softly.
“Landon, are you sure?” she asked when we pulled apart.
I knew what she was thinking… she didn’t want me to marry
her because I felt guilty or bound into it.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I want you to be my wife.” This was more than just something to help
her put a check mark next to her number one.
My heart yearned for her to marry me.
“I’ve known it since the day that you showed me around the back of the
church. The way the sunlight danced off
of you just right, how everything seemed so perfect… I knew that I was totally
in love with you and that nothing would ever change it.”
“But Landon, that was before you knew I was sick…” She still
seemed doubtful.
“I know. But after
you told me, the next day I went to the church. No one was there, but I went to the back where they keep that
room for the bride. I was so lost
Jamie; I didn’t know what to do. But I
talked to God that day, and I asked him for just one thing – you. I understand now that I probably can’t have
you physically here, but that I can still have what I asked for by marrying
you.” The tears in my eyes were running
down my face, and I had to wipe them away before I could continue. “Please Jamie, please be my wife.”
This time she leaned in to kiss me. “I will Landon, I will,” I felt her say
against my lips. I could feel her joy
and her love being passed to me, and mine being passed to her.
“I love you Jamie.”
“I love you too.”